Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
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