Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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