If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize