Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
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Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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