Who wears a wallet chain?!
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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