he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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