are you still at the devil's house?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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