White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
tell me about the eggs
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize