i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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