I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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