dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You dont lie about slip and slides
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize