I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
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it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
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Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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