i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
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I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
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Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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