Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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