If i come over, it means nothing
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize