i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
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Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
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I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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