Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
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