I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
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we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
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I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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