Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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