If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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