She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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