im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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