Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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