I wish my penis had an off switch
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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