You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize