I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize