Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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