I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize