If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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