Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize