I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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