And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
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ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
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I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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