I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize