i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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