Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
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She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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