Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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