It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize