I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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