OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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