I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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