Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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