no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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