best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
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He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
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SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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