remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize