you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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