I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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