They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be right there i have to get my cape
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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