Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
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Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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