Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
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Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
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Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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