just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i came on her dog
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I have aggressive nipples.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize